My Hat!
by BJXCBFOREVER
Summary: 'This wasn't training. They were really trying to take his hat. His precious hat. Agent P frowned the best he could. No one took his hat. Not the one Major Monogram had given him.'


**My Hat!**

**I don't own Phineas and Ferb. Dan Povenmire and Jeff 'Swampy' Marsh do.**

**I do, however, own the two scientists in this story.**

**Inspired by a part in my other fic 'His First Friend', when it talks about Perry being protective of his hat. You might have to read that to understand what's truly going on. Don't have to, though.**

…

Agent P had been in the middle of training when they came over to him.

Two young men, who he recognized as the scientists at the O.W.C.A (whatever a scientist was. Agent P didn't know), had pulled him aside from his training. One had white, uncared-for hair and large blue eyes. The other seemed younger with bright red hair and a growing moustache. Both men wore lab coats.

The baby platypus looked up at them confusedly. What did they want? He was in the middle of his training (getting quite good at it, too) and they had interrupted him! Agent P frowned at the them the best he could, the clear message of "What do you want? I'm busy!" written across his features.

"Agent P," The older man (Agent P remembered his name was Carter) practically cooed. Agent P had already decided he didn't like this one.

"Look what we got for you." The younger one said. He brought out the fedora from behind his back.

Agent P went to look at it, but the brim of his over-sized fedora flopped over his eyes. He lifted it with both of his front paws and peeked out from underneath. Agent P stared in confusion. He already had a hat, why would he need that one?

"See, Agent P? You don't need that big, uncomfortable hat anymore. We got ya a new one." The red-haired scientist (the platypus recalled that his name was Fred) held out the other fedora.

Agent P still watched in confusion. His hat was fine. Albeit, it was a little too big, but he could live with it. Major Monogram said he would grow into it, anyway. So Agent P just had to wait.

"Now, let's just take this one from you, you cute, little monotreme." Carter said, reaching out to take Agent P's hat.

Agent P's jaw dropped and he jumped away. No. They couldn't take his hat! It was _his! _Monogram had given it to him!

Fred's smile dropped. "C'mon, Agent P. Come to us." He reached out gently, but the platypus batted his hand away with one of his front paw; his free paw on top of the hat; keeping it safe.

"Agent P, we're not playing a game." Carter stepped toward him. "Give us the hat."

Agent P shook his head and turned, beginning to run on his hind legs.

"Hey! Get back here!" Fred called angrily as the men ran after him.

Realizing he wasn't actually that quick on his hind legs (not yet anyway. Monogram was going to give him a few more lessons on walking on his hind legs soon), Agent P got down on all fours and bounded away from them.

"We've got to corner him, somehow." Carter said thoughtfully.

Agent P ducked behind a desk. He wiped some sweat from his brow. What on earth were they doing? Couldn't they see he _had a hat! _Agent P panted, out of breath. What to do now? Oh! Perhaps this was some sort of training. Yes, that must be it. Major Monogram probably set this whole thing up to test his agent skills.

"There you are, my little monotreme!"

Agent P looked up and saw Carter leaning over the desk, grinning triumphantly. Agent P thought quickly and ran as fast as he could. Carter huffed and ran after him. Agent P ducked under a chair, and Carter lifted it up. "C'mon, platypus. We just want to give you a new hat! It's not like we're taking you to the vet or anything."

_Vet! _Agent P knew _that word. _Fearing the worst, Agent P clutched his fedora and ran for it.

Fred, seemingly out of no where, stepped in front of him. He grabbed Agent P by the scruff of his neck and hoisted him up. Agent P flailed after realization hit him. If this were a training game, Major Monogram would've already been here to tell him whether or not he passed. But there was no Monogram. This wasn't training. They were _really trying to take his hat. _His precious hat. Agent P frowned the best he could. _No one _took his hat. Not the one Major Monogram had given him. He growled angrily and whacked Fred in the face with tail. Fred fell, dropping Agent P; who landed on his hind legs. He turned to run, but ran head first into a table. Moving the brim of his hat out the way, Agent P looked around for anymore obstacles. Nope. Although there was an angry pair of scientists coming after him.

Oops.

Agent P took off his hat and grabbed hold of the brim in his hands, pushing it like a shopping trolley across the floor. He let it go and, when he was sure it was sliding along the shiny, laminated floor, he jumped inside. Luckily, he wasn't too heavy to stop its journey and not too big that a part of him would be poking out of the hat. In fact, it was perfect. He slid along the floor, smirking, but his eyes widened when he saw the wall approaching him. Wait a second…no. _He _was approaching the _wall! _With an almighty _thud, _Agent P hit the wall; falling on to his back.

In a flash, Fred lifted Agent P by the tail while Carter collected the agent's hat. "Ok, platypus," Fred yelled threateningly. "_Now you've made me mad!"_

Agent P shut his eyes. It was cowardly, but he didn't want to see a fist coming his way or anything.

"What's _going on!"_

Everyone stopped.

Major Francis Monogram stood in the doorway, his arms crossed and a very angry frown plastered across his face. "Well?"

"Major Monogram, sir! Thank goodness! This platypus has been causing trouble for Carter and I!" Fred exclaimed, gesturing toward Agent P, who was still flailing.

"Why're you holding him like?" Monogram asked. Without waiting for an answer, he commanded: "Put him down!"

Fred opened his hand and Agent P dropped to the floor. He stood and shook his head then yelped and jumped up and down; trying to grasp his fedora, which was currently in Carter's possession.

"Give him his hat back." Monogram demanded and Carter dropped the fedora. Agent P scrambled to collect it, then ran over to Monogram and hid behind his leg. "Look!" Monogram exclaimed. "You've frightened him! Poor lil' guy…"

"But, sir, we were just trying to give him this new hat." Fred explained, gesturing to the smaller fedora.

"Then why is Agent P visibly trembling behind my leg?"

"Well…We may have just spooked him and-"

"You're fired."

"Wh-What!" Carter stuttered.

"You heard me."

"But, sir! He ran away!" Fred tried to defend them.

"Because you were bullying him. Why does he have a bump on his head, hm?"

"Uh…He ran into a table."

"And why's that?" Monogram placed his hands on his hips.

Carter sighed and admitted, "Because we were chasing him."

"Exactly. And, Fred, I saw your fist; about to hit one of _our agents. _You _do not hit one of our agents. Especially, _not a _baby like him._" Monogram snapped sternly. "You're both fired." While the scientists continued to stutter, Monogram knelt down to Agent P. "You ok, Agent P?"

Agent P rubbed his head as an answer. He lifted his paw to his mouth and began to suck on it cutely.

"You don't want a new hat, do you?" Monogram asked in a cooing voice. But his coo wasn't nearly as creepy as Carter's and Agent P smiled, taking his paw away from his mouth, and shook his head. Monogram stood back up and turned to the bullies. "There you have it."

"B-But, sir! He's just-"

"A baby. He's just a baby. Now, go." Monogram pointed to the door. Both scientists slouched. Monogram turned to Agent P. He bent down and scooped the platypus into his arms. Agent P placed his hands on Monogram's shoulders. "Don't worry, Agent P. These guys won't bother ya anymore."

Agent P smiled and hugged his boss' neck. Monogram chuckled. "Aw. It's ok, Agent P. You can keep that hat as long as ya want."

Monogram turned to leave. As he did, Agent P looked over his boss' shoulder, at the scientists. They raised their heads. Agent P smirked the best he could and lifted one hand, placing his 'thumb' to the end of his bill and wriggling his 'fingers'; blowing a raspberry at them. _He likes _me _better!_ Agent P would've said. _Bye, bye, creeps!_

As if understanding what the monotreme was trying to say, the scientists growled angrily. Agent P wasn't scared this time. He just nuzzled his boss' shoulder and smiled.

"C'mon, Agent P." Monogram muttered gently. "I've got a cookie with your name on it. Literally. I got Carl to write Agent P on it so that everyone knows its reserved for you and you alone."

Agent P's smile widened. He loved having tea and cookies with his boss. Especially when he dipped the cookie in the tea. That was brilliant!

…

Monogram rose from his armchair; stretching his arms. The major yawned. "Well, Agent P. It's getting late." He pointed to the door. "Bed." He commanded. He loved Agent P, really he did, but the monotreme was still his employee; so he had to order him about _sometimes._

Agent P stared at him from the other armchair and climbed down. The monotreme walked over to the large, double bed that sat in the furthest end of the room.

"Wait- Where're you-? No, don't-" Monogram tried, but it was too late.

Agent P had already climbed up onto the bed, curling up in a little ball of teal fur.

Monogram sighed and walked over, gently nudging the monotreme. Agent P opened one, brown eye. Monogram pointed to the floor. "Down."

Agent P watched him, then closed his eye again.

Monogram nudged him once more. This time, both of Agent P's eyes shot open. Monogram pointed at the floor again. "_Down._"

Agent P paused. He didn't want to leave his boss. So, he did the one thing he knew Monogram wouldn't say no to.

Agent P let out his platypus chatter- the one he used whenever he was sad.

Monogram's unibrow raised and he blinked several times before rolling his eyes and sighing. "Oh, alright. Fine. You can sleep there. But at least let me get in bed first."

Agent P shut his eyes, but only so he didn't see his boss getting changed. It would scar his platypus life forever if he saw _that. _

Monogram climbed under the duvet. Agent P lay at the foot of the bed. "Goodnight, Agent P. Sweet dreams, my lil' monotreme." The major rolled on to his side and, in minutes, fell asleep.

However, no matter how much Agent P tried, he could not sleep. Visions of those scientists chasing him flashed through his mind. Agent P stood on all fours and tip-toed over to Monogram, then slipped under his arm.

In his sleep, Monogram hugged Agent P to him using the arm the monotreme had slipped under.

Agent P smiled and settled down for the night.

And both the major and the platypus smiled in their sleep.

…

And it came to both the major and the platypus' shock when they found out that both those scientists from all those years ago had joined L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N, Dr. Doofenshmirtz's group of evil-doers.

_Well, _Perry thought upon seeing them. _Probably shouldn't have taunted them…_

…

Author's note:

I like to imagine a little baby Perry running around, trying to protect his beloved hat from being taken away.

Ha. Perry has good persuasion skills.

Aw! The image I have of Monogram carrying a baby Perry is so sweet!

Hope you guys enjoy this!


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